called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
