I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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