Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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