You're completely useless in the revolution.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
