Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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