I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
