i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i just google imaged poop.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
