Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
