There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
