I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
