we have pet lesbian snakes
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
