Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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