If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
