Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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