At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
