Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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