even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
