chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
