Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
