shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
too bad you live with your parents still
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
