Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
