Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
