Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I love you. Go after that dick
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