I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
