i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
