The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
