It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
