sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
