It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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