i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
