At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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