Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
