I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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