Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
