No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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