who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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