YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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