I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
