you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
