i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
