Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
