I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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