i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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