My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
foreskin is a definite game changer
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
