don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
