Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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