Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
