You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
