Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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