she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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